This is one of the most painful questions in Christian financial life, and one of the hardest to ask out loud.
The school is asking for fees. The rent is due. The money in the account will not cover both, and there is a portion of it you have always regarded as belonging to God. You do not want to be the person who stops giving the moment things get difficult. You also cannot send your child home from school.
Asking your pastor may or may not help, depending on your church. Asking anyone else feels like admitting failure.
So here is the honest landscape — what Christians actually believe about this, why they disagree, and how to think it through when the money genuinely does not stretch.
First: you are not in sin for asking
Whatever position you land on, the question itself is not rebellion. People in serious financial pressure are frequently made to feel that raising the question is evidence of a spiritual problem.
It is not. It is stewardship, which Scripture treats as a virtue. A person weighing competing obligations carefully is doing something responsible.
What Christians actually believe about tithing
There are three broad positions held by serious, Bible-believing Christians. Your church almost certainly teaches one of them as though the other two do not exist. It is worth knowing they do.
Position 1: The tithe is a binding standard
The argument: Tithing predates the Law — Abraham gave a tenth to Melchizedek in Genesis 14, and Jacob vowed a tenth in Genesis 28, both before Sinai. Malachi 3 describes withholding tithes as robbing God and attaches a promise to bringing the whole tithe into the storehouse. Jesus, criticising the Pharisees in Matthew 23, says they should have attended to justice and mercy without neglecting the tithe.
The practical conclusion: Ten percent is the floor, it belongs to God rather than to you, and giving it in hardship is precisely when faith is demonstrated.
Held by: most Pentecostal and charismatic churches, including the majority of large Nigerian ministries.
Position 2: The tithe was part of the Mosaic system and is not binding on Christians
The argument: The tithe was a feature of Israel’s covenant, functioning partly as a tax supporting the Levites, who had no land inheritance. The New Testament, which addresses giving repeatedly and at length, never once instructs Christians to tithe. Paul’s most extended teaching on giving — 2 Corinthians 8 and 9 — commends generosity that is proportional, decided in the heart, and given cheerfully rather than under compulsion. Notably, he sets no percentage.
The practical conclusion: Christians are called to generous, regular, proportionate giving. Ten percent may be a useful benchmark, but it is not a law, and in some seasons the right amount is less while in others it should be considerably more.
Held by: many Reformed, Anglican, Baptist and evangelical churches worldwide.
Position 3: The New Testament standard is higher, not lower
The argument: In the early church in Acts, believers sold property and shared as anyone had need. The concern is not a percentage at all but a total reorientation toward what one possesses.
The practical conclusion: Arguing about whether ten percent is required rather misses the point.
Why this matters for your situation
If you hold Position 1, the question is how to give the tithe while meeting your obligations — and this article’s practical section still applies.
If you hold Position 2 or 3, then giving proportionally to what you actually have this month, and returning to a higher level when circumstances improve, is not disobedience. It is exactly the model described.
Most people in genuine hardship have never been told Position 2 exists. It is not a fringe view or a rationalisation invented for hard times. It has been held by mainstream Christians throughout church history.
What this article will not do is tell you which is correct. That is a matter for your own study and conviction, and reasonable Christians disagree.
The competing obligation nobody mentions
Here is the passage that rarely appears in a tithing sermon.
1 Timothy 5:8 — anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
That is unusually strong language, and it is about providing for your family.
Mark 7:9–13 is more pointed still. Jesus rebukes religious leaders for a practice where money that should have supported ageing parents was designated as Corban — dedicated to God — and thereby withheld from the family. His verdict was that they had nullified God’s word through their tradition.
The principle is uncomfortable and it is clearly stated: religious giving that is used to avoid a genuine family obligation was condemned by Jesus directly.
This does not settle the tithing question. But any teaching that requires a parent to leave their child’s school fees unpaid in order to give has to reckon with that passage, and most do not attempt to.
A practical way through
Whatever your position, these steps apply.
1. Establish what is actually true about your finances. Write down income and every obligation. Many people in this situation are operating on a vague sense of shortfall rather than a number, and the vagueness makes decisions impossible.
2. Distinguish a temporary crisis from a structural problem. A bad quarter is different from a permanent mismatch between income and commitments. The first needs a bridge; the second needs restructuring, and no amount of giving decision will fix it.
3. Consider giving proportionally rather than stopping. For many people the realistic answer is not ten percent or nothing. It is a smaller percentage during the difficult season, given consistently, with a stated intention to restore it. This preserves the discipline and the relationship with giving, which people who stop entirely often struggle to rebuild.
4. Talk to your spouse. Giving decisions made unilaterally cause real damage in marriages, in both directions — the spouse who gives secretly and the spouse who stops secretly.
5. Talk to your church, honestly. This is the step people avoid, out of shame. But a church exists partly to help members in hardship, and many have benevolence funds that are underused because nobody asks. Be aware that the response will vary considerably. A church that responds to a member’s financial crisis by pressing them to give more is telling you something important about itself.
6. Do not borrow to tithe. This happens, and it is difficult to defend on any reading of Scripture. Borrowing at Nigerian interest rates to make a religious payment leaves you worse off, worsens the shortfall, and does not represent faith in any sense the Bible describes.
What to do about the guilt
Even after reasoning it through, many people carry a persistent sense that they have failed.
Two things worth holding.
God is not a creditor whose favour you are purchasing. If the underlying fear is that a missed tithe will bring loss or remove protection, that is worth examining, because it describes a transactional relationship that sits uneasily with grace. The framework in which giving buys safety and withholding invites disaster is not one every Christian tradition recognises.
The widow’s offering was tiny. In Mark 12, Jesus commends a woman who gave two small coins, and the point of the commendation is explicitly proportional — she gave out of poverty rather than surplus. The praised gift in that passage is the small one.
A closing thought
Nobody should be made to choose between their child’s education and their standing before God. If your church’s teaching has placed you in that position, it is fair to ask whether the teaching has been handled carefully.
Give as you have determined in your heart, not under compulsion. Provide for your household, because Scripture is emphatic about that too. Be honest with your spouse and honest with your church.
And when the season improves — as most do — give generously again.
This article presents the range of Christian views rather than advocating one. Your own conviction, formed through study and prayer, is what should guide your decision.
